Thoughts

It's been two months since the moment I left Poland to come back to Crete.
Two months without "dzien dobry" and "dzęknuje".
Two months without "my Polish family".
Two months without my mentor.
Two months without the friends I made there, in work and fun.
Two months without the Orthodox community of Koszalin.

A lot of things have changed during these months. Poland seems like an old memory now, like a dream from the past. Koszalin is faraway now, like an untouched vision in my mind.
Shall I see this country again? Shall I walk in this city again? Shall I drink its water? Shall I smell its perfumes? Shall I dance its dances? Shall I taste its food? Shall I feel its girls? Shall I pray with its people? Shall I...? Who knows...

But, this distance in space and time makes things more clear. Poland appears like a dream, but a living dream. Koszalin is like a vision, but not a cloudy one. It's a vision in a crystally clear sky...
This distance makes me see my EVS and my life in Poland in an other way. Makes me think about in an other way. Is it a more clear one? Perhaps. No doubt that it's a different one. It's a way with less passion, less temptation, less confusing feelings. But, full of sadness. Full of nostalgy. Full of eros. Full of love.

Yes, it was hard living in Poland. It was hard sharing a house with these three girls. A lot of times it was hard to communicate, it was difficult to find a common ground. Often we were eating in the same table, but not together. We were drinking in the same garden, but not together. We were dancing in the same place, but not in the same rhythm. Yes, sometimes, it was over my powers...

On the other hand, it was nice sharing things with them. Even if we had problems. Even if they never really liked me. Even if we never crossed some borders. Even if I never crossed some borders...

My last night in Koszalin, we made a farewell party for me and we exchanged some gifts. I gave to each one of them a card, with a poem in their own native languages and some thoughts of mine in English. All cards had the same ending, something like: "Perhaps we will not meet each other again. Possibly you will not think about me anymore. Sure you will not miss me. I doesn't matter. I wish you..." and my personal wish.

I still remember Meltem's surprise when she got a card written in Turkish, I stll remember Alejandra's reaction "It's Neruda, it's Neruda, it's my favorite poet, it's Neruda!!!", I still remember Amanda's hug.

And since that day, Meltem's question, in her lovely Turkish accent of English, has been fixed in my mind, has been stuck in my mind: "Michail, how can you believe that I'll forget you? Do you really believe that we can forget someone that we lived six months together?".

No, Meltem, no, Girls, I don't believe it. I never believed it. Neither now, neither when I wrote the cards. But, when you possed me that question, I already knew a Truth. I already knew a Truth written by cries, encraved by pain, taught by life. A Trurh which I learned by experience. A Truth that all Travellers, all Life Travellers know. I already knew the Truth which says that we tend to estimate things and people only when we miss them. That we must feel the distance to realise the lack of their presence, to understand the loss.

And when this moment arrives, we are ready to ask for forgiveness and to be asked for forgiveness. To give it and to take it. As we say in my language for forgive, to "sygchorein" (συγχωρείν), to "co-exist in the same space". Even if we live in far distance.

Good bye, Girls! Good luck in your life! LIVE YOUR LIFE!!! It Worths! It's Yours and it's Life...

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